I know it has been an incredibly long time and I really have no excuses. I failed. I started this blog in hopes that I could get people to rally around me  and support me on my journey to get healthy and you did. The amount of support I received when I started this blog was really overwhelming and I’m and truly grateful for it. But I did what I always do when things get hard. I retreated into myself. I put my walls back up. I sat in the prison I’ve created for myself alone, ashamed, and still very much frightened. I let myself down, but I’m used to that, more importantly, I let you down and for that I am sorry. I’m back now giving it another go. I won’t promise that I’ll keep it going, but I do promise that I’ll try harder than I’ve ever tried before. I may fail, but I won’t be defeated.

As some of you know, fried chicken has been a dear friend to me most of my life. Even more so than chocolate! Fried chicken was my comforter for so long and in my mind, it helped. It helped to mass the pain that was making me want to hide away in a closet forever. It helped me get over the rejection that became a part of my daily life. It helped me get over the feeling of not being worthy of anyone’s time, attention, or love. It was someone to “talk” to when I was feeling lonely. 

About a year ago something changed. Fried chicken stopped being those things for me. It was just another food. Delicious food, but just food. I had finally moved past my dependency on fried chicken. And then today happened. Today I am incredibly sad. For no other reason than I’m a premenstrual woman. But today I want to reignite my friendship with fried chicken. I want it to rescue me from the feelings and emotions that I do not want to deal with. I want it to block the path so I could stay on the surface and not dive deep within myself to confront those things that are keeping me from being the best me. I want it to be an excuse as to why my life isn’t what I want or hoped it to be. I want it to build a wall around me to keep anyone from getting close. But can I afford to let it?

xoxo,

Kimmie